Praise or Encouragement?

Most parents use praise and encouragement interchangeably.  They are not the same.

Praise links the child's worth to what they accomplish and often labels them accordingly. It sounds like:  "Ethan, you are such a smart boy; you got an A in Math."  What happens to Ethan if he gets a B?  Is he no longer smart? 

Encouraging links the child's action to their worth.  It sounds like:  "You worked very hard this semester."  What the child does is what makes the difference.  Encouragement produces motivation, positive self worth, competence, and acceptance. 

Examples of praise vs. encouragement:

• "You are such a good girl. You cleaned your room."   vs.   "Wow, how neat and organized your room looks."
• "You scored 3 goals!"  vs.  "Your foot skills have really improved, you've been practicing!”
• "Wow, you're so fast you beat everyone!"  vs.  "You really enjoy running!”
• "What a good boy you are for setting the table!"  vs.  "You really helped me by setting the table, thanks!”

Try encouraging your child, by focusing on their action not the outcome.  You may be surprised at their new motivation and positive attitude!